


Breaking before becoming whole

by Spidermansalterego



Category: Boy Meets World, Girl Meets World
Genre: Break Up, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 20:36:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14028246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spidermansalterego/pseuds/Spidermansalterego
Summary: After months of fighting, Cory realizes he’s gay and leaves Topanga for Shawn. Devastated and eager to learn who she is without him, Topanga decides to travel, leaving a very angry Riley and a very confuse d auggie with Cory and Shawn.Story told non-chronologically through one shots





	Breaking before becoming whole

**Author's Note:**

> I didn’t watch much of Girl Meets World so this might not be canon complacent. 
> 
> This specific chapter is about Topanga having a conversation with Shawn, before she goes to Europe.

It felt strange, being in a coffee shop that wasn’t Topanga’s. He sat across from her and watched while she absentmindedly stirred her coffee and watched him pick at his nails. 

It had been a few weeks since he’d seen her last, which would have been normal a few years ago but now felt weird and wrong since he had gotten used to seeing her daily. 

She’d gotten her hair cut. 

They hadn’t said much at all past the initial polite hello’s and ‘how’re you?’s. In his whole life he’d never had trouble talking to her, she was his best friend other than Cory, and now she felt like a stranger. 

“I like your hair.” 

“Thanks” She says, smiling and unconsciously touching it. “I thought it was time for a change.”

“I need you to know that I never meant to hurt anyone, least of all you.” He said, suddenly and quickly. 

“I know that, Shawn” She says “I’m not angry, not anymore at least.

“Then why are you leaving? Riley and auggie need you. Cory needs you. Let me leave. I’m good at it. Just, let things go back to the way they were”

“You really think things could ever go back to the way they were? Shawn, Cory left me for you. He doesn’t love me. Not like that” 

“But-“ 

“No, Shawn, let me talk. Cory has never loved me the way he loves you. My whole life I’ve been watching the man I love, love another man, and pretending not to notice. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine” 

“No” Shawn said “no, it’s not your fault, how could you have known”

Topanga laughed. “Shawn, everyone knew. Strangers knew. Once, in college, a girl told me how brave you and Cory were for being so public with your relationship. When I told her I was the one dating Cory, she just hugged me.”

She sighs, and takes a sip of her coffee. “Even I knew. At least, I knew you loved him. I questioned Cory’s love for me, sometimes. But you? I never doubted.” 

“Even strangers?” He asked, bewildered. “I didn’t think anyone knew” he shook his head.

“You were like a lovestruck puppy.” She smiled, sadly. “And Cory was the only person who didn’t notice”

“There’s no way everyone knew.” He says in his own defence. “ I bet Eric didn’t know.”

“of course Eric knew!” Topanga said, rolling her eyes but smiling “He told me six months ago that Cory was gay and that I needed to leave him, a month later, Cory told me he was moving out.”

“He did?” 

“He also told me you two would hold hands while you slept on the cot, and that was only the nights you didn’t just share his bed” 

“Oh.” Shawn sipped his coffee thoughtfully “I guess I just thought he wouldn’t notice” 

“Well, he did.” 

They fell back into silence after that, only the sounds of strangers and light music surrounding them”

“Don’t go” he says, after a while. 

“I have to, Shawn.” She says, sadly. “If I don’t leave now, Riley will never forgive her father, and I’ll never get the chance to find out who I am without Cory. You of all people should understand how hard it is to stay, when all you need to do is run.” 

“I guess I get that. Riley is taking this really hard, isn’t she? I know she’ll forgive Cory, in time, but do you think she’ll ever stop hating me?”

“She could never hate you, Shawn.”

“I hope you’re right.” He bites his lip. “When will you be back?”

“A few months. I’m going to meet up with Angela in Paris, and we’re going to travel the UK and see what happens from there.”

“I’ll miss you.” He says, honestly.

“I know. I’ll miss you too.” She finishes off her cup “but I’ll be back in a heartbeat if the kids need me, and I’ll be home by Riley’s birthday. This is just something I have to do.” 

Shawn nods, and finishes his own cup of cooling coffee. “I understand”

“Can I ask you something, before I go?” 

“Of course” 

“Did he ever cheat on me? Even when we were young?” 

“Of course not!” Shawn said. Topanga raised her eyebrows in doubt. 

“Almost, once.” He admits. 

“Elaborate” she asks, so he does, his eyes on the floor. 

“I think it was the night he decided to end things. You guys were fighting and he left for the night. Katy was working a back shift, and Maya must have been at your place.” 

He looks at Topanga, she’s carefully keeping her face neutral. 

“We we’re watching a movie and drinking. I’d only had a few drinks but he was pounding back shots like he was at gunpoint. I don’t think He’d been that drunk since you’d called off the wedding” 

She pulls a face, like she wants to speak, but stays quiet. 

“I told him to stop but he wouldn’t so I finished the bottle so that he couldn’t. We just sat there for a while, drunk and sad and then he suddlenly just, grabbed my face and looked into my eyes. After a bit he told me I was his best friend, started crying and threw up on my shoes.”

“Why didn’t you kiss him?” Her voice  
Wavers. “Why didn’t he kiss you?l

“I guess, because we love you too much to do that to you. I wouldn’t do that to you. He wasn’t mine to kiss.

“He’s always been yours, Shawn.” She says, sadly. “I just borrowed him for a while.” She stands up, pulling on her coat and shouldering her bag. 

“I should go, I have more packing to do and I want to spend as much time with the kids as I can before I leave.” 

“It was really good to see you, Topanga.” He stands up, unsure of wether or not he’s allowed to hug her. She answers his question by pulling him into a big one

“It was good to see you too. I’ll see you at the airport before I go?” There’s tears building in her eyes but Shawn knows her well enough to ignore them. After all, pretending is what they both do best 

I wouldn’t miss it.” He says. 

And with that, she leaves.

**Author's Note:**

> Future chapters will include the night of Topanga and Cory breaking up, the conversation between Topanga and Eric mentioned, the night Shawn mentioned, after Topanga leave and throwbacks ranging from early BMW to pre-GMW ✌


End file.
